Momma's Journal - Published Articles by Jean Lanahan

Published in The Bourne Enterprise, October 6, 2011

Momma's Journal: ‘A Dead-Center, Normal, Average American’

By Jean M. Lanahan

For all of my adult life, the highlight of Sunday nights was watching “60 Minutes” ending with Andy Rooney’s piece where he shared his ideas, his words, about what’s important – or completely ridiculous – with his wit and wisdom, or with his well known sarcasm and criticism. At the end of a weekend, a time to ready for a new week, the timing was perfect to cuddle up on the couch with a bowl of beef stew and listen to Andy complain about what drives us all crazy, or what brings us joy, and what makes us human. And then there was Andy’s ranting about annoyances, and the frustrations of daily life. Oh, the way Andy had (strike that - has) with words to turn the ordinary into something extraordinary. Makes a novice columnist like me envious.

“I probably haven’t said anything here that you didn’t already know or have already thought, he said. “That’s what a writer does. A writer’s job is to tell the truth.”

Well Andy, I hadn’t thought of what I’m doing like that before. Not exactly anyway. Thank you.

Andy Rooney has been the voice of America for 33 years on “60 Minutes” and sadly, he admitted that it’s time for him to slow down. “I wish I could do this forever. I can’t though,” Andy said in his 1097th commentary this past Sunday night. I was happy to hear old timer say that he wasn’t retiring, “a writer never stops being a writer”.

How could Andy retire anyway? He’s been writing for some 70 years, spending the first 50 years trying to become a well known writer and the next 20 years trying to avoid being famous. Perhaps that’s what I liked about him most. He once described himself as, “a dead-center normal average American.” But the always modest Rooney is so much more.

In his farewell piece, Andy said that he has lived a lucky life, luckier than most.

He’s been paid, “very well” Andy would add, for doing what he likes to do best – grumble and gripe. And befitting his trademark crotchety nature, he voiced one parting complaint: He doesn’t like being famous, nor does he like being bothered by fans.

Even though Andy receives more fan letters than his peers, he rarely returns notes and he’s makes jokes about the ridiculous gifts he receives from viewers who wasted time and money sending him worthless junk. And whatever you do, don’t bother him if he’s in the midst of dinner at a restaurant.

So, at the ripe age of 92, Andy has decided to cut back on his work schedule. My guess is that he hasn’t said his last words, but in the meantime there will be gap in my Sunday night routine. If I get the courage to write and mail a letter to Andy, it will read like this:

Andy, the most important lesson I’ve learned from watching you over the years is that the written word is sacred. And some things need be said, you’ve said that yourself, so here’s a few in my head…. We will miss you, Andy, you and your cantankerous ways. Here’s to hoping to hear doses of your wit and wisdom from time to time. Mostly, I hope you can take a minute to read my words of gratitude for your contributions - for reminding me of the importance of writing; for my appreciating that anything I write today won’t look as good as it should tomorrow. I think you called it ‘the writer’s albatross’. Thanks for sharing that. But I’ll understand, Andy, if you read my note and then crumple it up and add it to your collection of priceless letters.

“A writers’ greatest pleasure is revealing to people things that they know, but did not know they knew.” – Andy Rooney from “Word for Word”

In her column, Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach chronicles the “chaotic joys” of parenthood. She can be found online at jmmlana@aol.com or www.jeanlanahan.com.

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, September 8, 2011

Momma’s Journal: A Time To Reflect

By Jean M. Lanahan

Ask any American where they were on the morning of September 11, 2001, and they’ll know. I was in my kitchen, trying to convince a finicky two-year old that she likes oatmeal with crushed pineapple. My husband was working at home, busy outside tending to his fishing gear. Our oldest daughter had just stretched her little legs to board the school bus (for a twenty minute ride to kindergarten class at Otis National Air Force Base). I remember being so proud of her enthusiasm for riding the big yellow school bus. It was her 6th time on the bus already. She was a pro. No need for mom to have to pack my youngest daughter into the car and follow the bus to safety. (I only did that once, honestly.)

The telephone rang. It was my sister telling me to turn off the Barney tape playing in the VCR and turn on the television, any station. It didn’t matter; they were all reporting the same sad truth. The United Stated had been attacked.

The next few days were a blur as we witnessed the details of 9-11, newscasts and print media unfolding play by play the destruction caused by terrorists who boarded our planes and turned them into killing machines.

How do we persevere, get on with life? Do we stock up on supplies and lock our doors? Do we keep the television off so the kids don’t see what’s going on in the crazy world in which we live? And what about school? Do we send our kids or do we keep them home?

A few sleepless nights later, I woke and posted this entry in my journal. And then I hugged my family, called my sister, and emailed friends and loved ones……

EVER AGAIN

jml 9/11/01

Horrific thoughts cloud our days and eves -

About happenings we still can’t believe.

We see planes striking in our sleep;

We shiver and wake with a weep.

We hear cries from the crowd;

We tremble and squeal aloud.

WILL WE EVER FEEL SAFE AGAIN?

Our fears have changed overnight -

From worry and concern to utter fright.

Our values have changed as drastically -

From justice and liberty

To questioning how to ensure our safety.

WILL WE EVER KNOW FREEDOM AGAIN?

Our forefathers lived through terrors overseas -

But today’s warfare they could not foresee.

For they fought with all of their might

Knowing, that perhaps, an end to the fright was in sight.

WILL WE EVER FORGIVE AGAIN?

Our babes, their future, that’s what we’re fearful about -

“Keep them safe” out loud we shout!

Kids just want to learn and laugh and smile,

But they see our sorrow, and instead, opt to play quietly for awhile.

WILL WE EVER LIVE AGAIN?

The sound of a plane overhead

Tells us to pray about things unsaid -

For this is real, and real is now!

We pray. God help us to change the pace -

Keep us strong, united, and show us how.

WILL WE EVER TRUST AGAIN?

……………………………………………………………

On the anniversary of the September 11th attack, we’ll watch tributes for the thousands of heroes we lost, and for their families and all memories the victims have left behind. Here it is some ten years later and I still shiver, shed a tear, and ask “why” when I see footage of the September 11th destruction. Even though many of our children are too young to remember the details of that day’s horrific events, may they be reminded by setting time aside in school and at home to discuss 9-11-01 as well as what it means to live in America, the land of the free and of the brave.

In her column, Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach chronicles the “chaotic joys” of parenthood. She can be found online at jmmlana@aol.com or www.jeanlanahan.com.

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, Sept 4, 2011

Momma’s Journal: We’re Still Waiting For The Lights To Come ON

Jean Lanahan, like so many in town, has been without power since tropical storm Irene blew through the region on Sunday. She decided to submit her column this week in longhand.

First days of school have always been an adventure at our house, or so I thought until now. Dressed in new clothes and shoes, worrying about lunch money and binders and backpacks, or sitting waiting for delayed buses with less than patient students was nothing. With 12 years of first days of school (including the all important pre-school days), we have lots of stories, but this one tops them all…

Oldest daughter woke at the crack of dawn (I think) to shower and get ready for her first day of high school. Youngest daughter, a few minutes later, readied herself for 7th grade. Amazing, I thought. No arguing. No yelling. No grouchiness despite all the inconveniences of cold showers, getting dressed in the dark with no power to run their hairdryers or straighteners and no way to heat water for a bowl of oatmeal or lights to see their expert make up applying skills.

Buses arrived on time, somehow, to bring the girls to BHS and BMS. (Yes, schools have power.) “Good luck girls. I’m sure we’ll have internet and cable when you get home. Have a great day!”
I lied. The clock in our kitchen stood still at 11:30 am, Sunday, August 31, 2011.
Day two of the new school year – what a disaster! None of the 3 cell phone alarms woke us at 5:45. Thankfully Tom’s cellphone rang about an hour later, and amazingly enough, the kids readied for school and made it there on time. (We only missed one of the two buses and we only had a few meltdowns and complaints about how rotten it is to live on the ‘frontier’, and how unfair it is that Bourne didn’t postpone school despite some 11,000 NStar customers still in the dark.) To the headed discussion, I added my negative feelings about starting school before Labor Day anyway!

I wished the girls “good day” but I refrained from adding anything about hot meals, warm showers or internet or clean laundry upon their return from school. That would be too risky based upon the rumors I’m hearing about power being restored by the weekend.
Please NStar, say it isn’t so! Our candles are gone, batters are lifeless, ice in the coolers has melted and milk is soured. We need some answers so we can plan accordingly. And I’m still waiting for a callback from a message I left with you (NStar) on Monday morning.
They still haven’t called me back.

Someday we’ll laugh about the crazy start to the new school year. Maybe. But as I sit at my kitchen table transcribing these notes to add to our journal,
I’m not laughing. My family has been troupers, but now we need power to finish cleaning the messes that Irene left in her wake and get on with life already.
As for all of you camping fanatics who are looking forward to roughing it this Labor Day weekend, have fun. We’ve done enough camping for a year’s time.

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, August 25, 2011

Momma’s Journal: Every Child’s Wish

By Jean M. Lanahan

Oldest daughter is in her room organizing her school supplies and singing with The Band Perry as she practices for an upcoming music recital. Younger daughter is busy in her bedroom putting school things in order while cheering and jumping, even after having spent the prior two hours doing just that at Cheerleading practice tonight. Tom is getting ready to retire after a long day of fishing. He’s thankful that we’re all home and there’s nothing on the calendar this evening. Chauffer and chef hats, aprons and spatulas and dust mops are where they belong; out of sight. I am taking the opportunity to steal the computer and write my reflections and observations.
While school shopping with my middle school and high school aged girls this week, I realized that my babies - now adolescents - have grown in all respects of the word. They are enthusiastic about shopping with their own money, and about picking their own school supplies - and undergarments and book bags and makeup and perfume and hair products - without too much of my help. “Who needs mom, this one anyway?” I thought as we drove home from the mall.
As we entered the driveway, I heard a familiar song in the distance, and I knew the girls did too when they jumped out of the car yelling “Ice cream man, stop here please.” Of course I reached into my pocket and pulled out the last four dollars I had to my name. It was worth every penny of it as I watched two young ladies transform back into their younger selves as they sat on the porch chatting and enjoying their ice creams.

I watched them from the window; my thoughts went to this poem I found and framed when my kids were younger:

Let me know when I make you proud
And help me to have pride in my own accomplishments.
Let me earn your trust. Then trust me.
I won’t let you down.
Let me try my wings. If I fail, let me know it’s okay.
And encourage me to try again.
Let me know you love me. With a hug. Or a pat on the back.
Or, when I need it, with a firm but gentle “no”.
Let me be. Let me change. Let me grow.
Let me tell you when I’m feeling bad. Or angry. Even at you.
And let me know that even on my worst days, you still like me.
Let me dream. Share my joy when my dreams come true.
Share my tears when they don’t.
Let me feel secure in my home.
Help me realize that love is always there;
That I can depend on you no matter what.
Let me run… let me laugh… let me play.
And most of all, let me be a child. -Anonymous

Kids encourage us to laugh when it’s funny, cry when it’s sad. If we listen closely, kids remind us to keep things simple and to savor the precious moments we have together. Even though they don’t always show or even acknowledge it, they do appreciate our guidance and nurturing, and that means our hugs and lectures too.

Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach chronicles the ‘chaotic joys’ of Motherhood. Share you parental woes and wonders with her at jmmlana@aol.com

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add missing article: August 11

Be Proud of Yourself. It can be Contagious!

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, July 13, 2011
Momma's Journal: Summer Camp, Here We come!

I counted the days until camp started, 19 to be exact, and the trillion times that my kids uttered, “M…o….m…. I’m bored”. Since the last day of school, we’ve hosted many sleepovers and have attended more birthday and end of the school year celebrations than I’ve been invited to in a year.

When I was a child, my mother’s response to idle statements like “I’m bored” would have been, “go out and play or, better yet, go clean out your closet.” And her reaction to feeding all the kids in the neighborhood sounded something like this, “Who ate all the groceries I just bought?”

When I was a kid, we walked to the skating rinks, parks, beaches, and to the games we organized with kids in the neighborhood. Ask for a ride or coffee money, are you kidding me? I’m baffled. Not bored. Confused, actually, as I’m pushing a shopping cart through the aisles of Shaws or Stop and Shop on every odd day of the week. How can kids be bored in the summer? There’s so much to do, places to see, people to meet.

Hanging out with teens and tweens who don’t want an adult’s company - or advice or boring sermons or cuddly hugs – can be very stressful for parents. They’re not children; they don’t need or want handholding. They’re not adults; they can’t handle - and shouldn’t be saddled with - responsibilities associated with supporting a family. Teens and tweens are in a category of their own and yet, these alien like creatures still need supervision, and guidance, understanding and nurturing. Most importantly, they need to keep busy.

If our kids could design a perfect summer, it would surely include plenty of playmates and lots of adventures. As a parent of middle school aged girls, the perfect summer for our family would include all of the kids’ visions, and more. They’d be bordered with parental concerns – safety, discovery, growth, and enrichment. Add exercise, an appreciation of nature and the arts, and positive role models, and I’ll gladly sign my kids up for camp.

“How was camp girls?”
“Good. Really good, but I don’t feel like talking right now. I’m so tired ‘cause I ‘shadowed’ and played with The Chipmonks all day. They have so much energy,” my oldest (Leader in Training camper) admits.
“And mom, I’ll talk in a little while. I just need to chill ‘cause we ran around – and swam and went on a nature hike - the whole seven hours I was at camp. We had so much fun”, my younger, tween-aged (exhausted) camper admitted.

Tom and I are hearing bits and pieces about the camp’s daily activities - and cool counselors, new campers (and boys) they’ve met, archery, water trampolines, sailing, and outdoor adventures focused around fun and discovery. I just overheard my oldest talking about her duties today: picking up trash and doing artwork with the little kids. And my youngest was boasting about hanging out with new friends from other towns as they went on a nature walk. (Wow. They’re talking, conversing, laughing together, and bonding like best friends instead of arguing about lap top or television rights.)

We haven’t heard a single “I’m bored” since camp started. And I don’t expect we will.

Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach chronicles the ‘chaotic joys’ of parenthood. She encourages readers to check out nearby YMCA camps for young and old. Jean can be reached at jmmlana@aol.com

update missing articles in here.......

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, May 6, 2011

Momma’s Journal: Her Love Lives On

By Jean M. Lanahan

Mother’s day. Flowers will be planted. Cards will be signed. “I love you’s” will be whispered and many a “thank you” shared with moms and grandmothers on this special day. But for others, tears will be shed.

Mother’s day. It’s a holiday that comes every May whether we welcome it or not. Since my mother’s death in May of 2000, I’d opt to cross that day off of the calendar, but as a mother, I can’t. It will come anyway, bringing this mother a host of memories with it.

As a parent, I now have great admiration for how much my mother prepared me for surviving motherhood with teenaged daughters! I’m amazed that my mother and my sister and I remained friends through turbulent adolescence years (most of the time anyway). I just wish I could tell my mother face to face today, “Thank You! I really did appreciate all you did to keep us safe and healthy. And thanks also Mom, Lisa is still my best friend!”

I’d also admit to hearing, loud and clear, her words of wisdom: “Just wait! Wait till you’re a mother. Then you’ll know what I’m talking about… ” And oh how she taught us logic: “Because I’m the Mom and I said so!” Yikes. I do believe I’ve uttered statements like that in my very own house and I’m sure, just as I did, my daughters murmur “whatever” under their breath and roll their eyes as they stomp up the stairs to clean their bedrooms.

But more than anything, if I were granted just one phone call to make, I’ll call my mom, Nanc, and ask for her advice on this or that having to do with my daughters, and then I’d ask the other trillion questions I’ve questioned these past 11 years.

Growing up, my mother encouraged her daughters to be the best that we could be, to nurture us and teach us right from wrong. My mother intended to raise strong and compassionate daughters, and in the opinion of those who know me and Lisa best, that she did.

After my mother’s death, the written word brought me to a higher place, enabling me to heal, but also encouraging me to grow. As a gift to all Mothers and daughters reading this column today, I share this passage (written by Pam Brown) with you.

“Our daughters grow into assured and capable young women, moving in a world we scarcely know. It seems at times impossible that they could have ever been our babies, our toddlers stomping after butterflies. Our skinny schoolgirls frisking along beside us. That these confident eyes once sought out reassurance. Until a day when even the strongest and the wisest find they need to touch the past – and they reach out to us. And we find all they have ever been is not lost…. Or ever will be.” - Pam Brown (1924-1989)

Mother’s day can be bitter sweet for most of us, and yet there’s so much to be grateful for…. I’ll rejoice that in a world of chaos, I had a mother who loved me and taught about the intricate mother/daughter bond. I’ll be saddened because I miss her humor, and strength - and her home cooking and gift of gab. More than anything, I miss her love for me and for my children.

I’m so thankful that it’s become tradition on Mother’s day to celebrate my youngest daughter’s birthday. So that’s what we’ll do with our family this weekend on my baby’s 12th birthday…... We’ll celebrate life and love and Mother’s Day too. And In honor of my mother, Nanc, we’ll tell “Nanc” stories and we’ll laugh and we’ll cry.

Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach chronicles the chaotic joys of parenthood. Share you parental wonders and woes with her at jmmlana@aol.com

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, April 28, 2011

Notes from Momma’s Journal: Real Worries and Virtual Questions about Social Networking

By Jean m. Lanahan

Every parent I know is concerned. We’re trying to decide how much is harmless, and what and how much is harmful, downright dangerous, for our teens and preteens who are “connected” to their phones or the internet so many hours a day. I surely have lots of questions.

What are they viewing or listening to?

Who are our kids chatting with?

What are they saying?

How much (private) information are they sharing about themselves?

Why aren’t kids expected to unplug at bedtime?

And since when has talking on the phone - in public places or when you’re engaged in something else (with someone else) - become so acceptable?

Call me old fashioned, but I just don’t get the obsession our kids have with being connected to their phones or the internet, 24/7. Multitasking is one thing, but being rude or obsessive is something else.

As a teen, I remember sitting on the couch next to the end table that housed a rotary telephone, begging my sister to hurry along, because I was expecting a call. Imagine waiting for a phone call. Our kids wouldn’t hear of it. Rarely do they use the land line and should they make unanswered cellphone calls, they follow up with text messages, more text messages, and more text messages. Talk about the need for instant gratification.

And there’s no need for kids to converse anymore. Not in the real sense anyway. “Hey. What’s up? Want to hang out?” seems to say it all these days. I’ve witnessed kids hanging out, quietly, while their fingers are busy texting everyone else on their contact lists. If that’s what hanging out is all about, why bother? A game of solitaire would be more fun.

When my children were younger, I worried about their learning the meanings of compassion, safety, respect, and kindness. I worried about grammar school cliques and bullies. All the while, I hoped and prayed that they had would stand tall when knowing the right answer; stand firm when arguing for the crowd; stand straight when taking responsibility for their actions; and run away from the crowd when they’re heading up the wrong path.

Now that my oldest daughter is nearly 15, I still worry about those things, more than ever actually. It’s natural for our teens to look towards their peers for advice – and their acceptance – which scares me to death because kids speak/text in a language we hardly know. And who are they talking to anyway? A cyberspace stranger or one of their many BFFL’s?

Technology provides a way for kids to do or say things that they may never do or say in person. Sad but true which means they need to understand that anything sent via the computer or cell phone can be misinterpreted, altered, or shared. We’ve all heard the horror stories associated with sexting. OMG! Let’s hope our children learned by other’s mistakes – images presented online can be your image for life!

And then there’s cyberbullying. This has taken bullying to the highest level, allowing texters to be mean, anonymously. They won’t get ‘punched back’ by peers or punished by parents or teachers. These (wimpy) texters can simply type a comment or post photos whenever the mood arises. (I was excited to see an event scheduled for parents, “Bullying and Cyberbullying” to be held at Bourne Middle School next week. I’m sure it will be well attended.)

Parents are advised to keep tabs on our kids’ contacts and websites they frequent. “Keep the computer in a common place, like the kitchen or living room” is another piece of advice we are given. We’re told to set time limits, set parental controls, ask questions, and stay educated.

Let’s fact it - social networking is not going away. Networking via the internet is the way of the times. It’s powerful and influential and growing stronger every day. Lecturing our kids doesn’t work but asking for their help – perhaps in setting up your own social profile - could bring parents and teens closer together.

Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach, author of Enchanted Whispers: Wit & Wisdom from the Mouths of Babes (and Momma Too) www.jeanlanahan.com

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April 21

Momma’s Journal: A Batch of Well Being

Things sure have changed since I was a child. We’ve evolved into a society where parents are older than their parents were when they started their families. My parents were in their early 20’s when I was born. Tom was 40 and I was 35 when our first daughter was born. That means that my oldest will be 35 when I turn 70 (years young) and her dad celebrates his 75th birthday (life anniversary). Yikes!

When I was growing up, most of my friends had a parent who worked solely at home, a full time “Mom” if you will. Sadly enough, stay at home moms are few and far between these days. We are a now a society where 75% of school aged children’s parents both work out of the house. And be it our culture, we have greater wants and needs, which means we live with more stress.

With regards to parenting, how do we find time to make precious memories with our children? Now that hand slaps and licks of Ivory soup are outlawed, how do we best discipline our kids? How do we give our children confidence and teach them about respect when the general public seems so insecure and disrespectful? How do we teach our children to communicate when the rest of the world opts to converse via the press of a key? How do we talk to our kids about our concerns and encourage them to tell us their innermost secrets when we’re all too busy to even chat (face to face that is).

In dealing with today’s pressures and challenges, parents definately work harder than ever.

Proponents of positive psychology share their wisdom with parents to keep their sanity – and sense of humor - while raising strong children. In researching this topic, I’ve learned that positive parenting means more than waking in the morning with a smile, and more than trying to remain calm after a child spills a jar of red paint upon a white rug. Rather than seeing parenting as a chore that must be done until a child reaches the age of maturity, parenting should be a rewarding experience. It starts with your own positive attitude about life, your family, and your place in the world. We set the example for our children to live with purpose in order to get the most out of each opportunity.

It's not suprising that studies have shown that children with a positive sense of well being are happier, healthier, and do better in school than their peers who do not have a positive sense of well being. By supporting children in a positive and encouraging way, we arm them with a sense of capability that will increase confidence, self-esteem, and a sense of well being.

Are you ready to mix up a batch of well being? Add components of positive parenting to a mixing bowl - encouragement, safety, empowerment, optimism, happiness, faith, trust, love, smiles, hugs, hope, giggles, strength, and communication – and you have created a nutritious pot of well-being to feed our children the skills they need to navigate the challenges of life successfully.

Isn’t that what parenting is all about?

Positively!

Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach chronicles the “chaotic joys of parenthood.” Fine her online at www.jeanlanahan.com

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, April 14, 2011

Momma’s Journal: Spring is Here - Time to Get Your hands Dirty

I love spring anywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden. ~Ruth Stout

Longer and warmer days invigorate me, enough to prune trees, wash windows, clean out cabinets, and plant a garden. And as luck would have it, we’re approaching April school vacation week, the perfect time to get those jobs done. I’m so excited!

It’s so refreshing to see daffodils in bloom and garden shops open, stocked with flowering annuals. After the April showers we’re having this week, lawns should transform from hay to silk and naked trees will be dressed with buds. Spring is finally in the air. It’s time to shed our coverings and start new beginnings. Out with the old and in with the new. Think clean and fresh. Think green.

Tom has been rotor-tilling the garden and working on lawn equipment - and all the other mechanical things that live in our backyard. Funny, not much has disappeared even though he visits the town dump a few times a week. I wonder what he really does there? It’s just a hunch, but I’m willing to bet that he makes even swaps, our junk for yours.

Tilling the garden reminds my muscles that hard work makes for sweeter fruit. Changing curtains and cleaning carpets will give my house a lift, and ridding the rooms of dust and clutter is like losing ten pounds in two days. What a great feeling.

My oldest daughter is committed to organizing her crowded bureaus, removing winter clothes that she never, ever wants to see again. With an upcoming 8th grade trip to Washington, D.C., I’ve been waiting to be asked to chauffer her to the mall to pick up a few things she ‘needs’ for the trip.

“Mom, we have to look nice. We’re going to the White House you know! I need a new dress, and new shoes! All of my friends have already gone shopping.”

Hello 8th grade BMS kids, do you think all parents are that naïve? What are the odds that you’ll get a photo op at the White House? But wait a minute, that’s on the itinerary. Perhaps I have some bargaining power here: A trip to the mall for a new outfit in exchange for a spotless bedroom. How sweet it would be to have bedroom B immaculate.

“Liz, get out the calendar…but first, here’s a recycling bins.”

Instead of filling my youngest daughter’s already jam-packed bedroom (let’s call this bedroom C) with clothes and accessories we have stored for warmer times, Jackie romps to the attic to check things out. Some of the treasures fit, some don’t. Some will be donated or given to friends, some re-gifted, some rejuvenated via the washing machine.

With regards to my wardrobe, my youngest tells me that clothes don’t miraculously come back into style. Hmm. Jackie should know; she’s been around for a very long twelve years (almost). But what my fashion expert hasn’t witnessed is the rise and fall of bellbottoms, leggings, halter tops, and camisoles. No matter though; she’s taken on the task of emptying ‘old fashioned’ items from this mother’s walk-in closet. Into the swap and donate baskets they go. Another ten pounds gone, just like that! It feels pretty good.

I asked Tom if he had any intention of cleaning out his dresser or closet and he replied with something like, “NOPE!”

“How about ridding the cellar of junk?” I asked.

“No” he answered.

“Shed?”

“Nada!”

The discussion ended.

My youngest overheard her dad’s responses and assured me that after she was finished in my closet, she’d give her father a helping hand. “I’ll work around his shed this weekend, Mom, because I really want the yard cleaned up before my birthday party.”

With everyone at my house busy with their own spring projects, you'll find me in the garden, planting my favorite spring veggies like broccoli and lettuce and collards and cauliflower and potatoes.

I’m so excited! I can’t wait to get my green thumbs dirty.

Jean Lanahan is a mom and avid gardener from Sagamore Beach. Find her online at www.jeanlanahan.com

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, March 17, 2011

Momma’s Journal: The Luck of the Irish

I received the most exciting e-mail the other day, an e-vite actually, from Simon Cowell asking if I’d join him at one of the upcoming X-Factor auditions. Simon suggested I check out the dates and audition times, pick a location, and book a flight ASAP - as I may qualify to be a contender for his new show coming to small screen TV this fall. For real. In short, he said, “Friend, you may have what it takes to win a $5 million recording contract with Sony music.”

Where’s my calendar? How does March 26 look? Will I have time to pack – and prepare my family - for my departure to Los Angeles?

As much as I’d like to spend a weekend shopping and catching a Celtics vs. Lakers game in LA, the answer is “no.” “Sorry Simon I’m just not that spontaneous a gal these days.”

What about April 6 in Miami? I love Miami, from what I remember of the time I visited there during Spring Break in 1981. The beaches were beautiful; the authentic food plentiful; the drinks colorful. But as much as I’d like to accept this invite, I have plans to be a front row spectator at one of the first 6th grade Spring 2011 soccer games. And as luck would have it, it’s my turn to drive some Saggie Beach girls to a game in Dartmouth, or someplace nearly as far from home.

“Please Simon, don’t give up on me yet!”

Next on the list, X-Factor recruits are coming to Newark, New Jersey in April. Blech. Newark is not at the top, or bottom, of my list of must see places in this lifetime. Besides, that date is much too close to April school vacation and my kids have all kinds of markings on our social calendar already. After the bed weather we had during February’s vacation, how can I disappoint my ‘lil darlins?

“Simon. I don’t mean to continually let you down. I’m getting my act together. It will be great!”

Next stop on the recruit’s tour: Chicago, Illinois, at the end of April. Oh my. Everyone knows that getting on an airplane with a head full of spring allergies is not a smart thing to do.

Ouch! Ha-choo! No can do.

So that leaves May. Dallas, Texas - here I come. Wait a minute. Don’t tell me the audition falls on the Wednesday before Memorial Day? Rats. Obviously Simon has never fought traffic on any day of the week prior to the official season opening of Cape Cod.

And then I snapped to and re-read the fine print. This e-vite from Simon may have been delivered to my email, but obviously it was meant for another leprechaun’s eyes to see….

I think I’ll take the night off from rehearsing “Please Mr. Postman” made popular (in the year I was born) by the Marvelettes. Tonight I’ll relax and relive the 80’s – and some of the 90’s – while the remaining American Idol contenders await their future. Audiences will decide which contestant – after singing his or her favorite song from the year in which they were born – will go home. For American Idol fanatics, the show should be interesting, exciting, and a wee bit nostalgic too.

Cheers and Happy St. Patrick’s Day 2011.

“Clink, Clink.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun

And find your shoulder to light on.

To bring you luck, happiness and riches

Today, tomorrow and beyond.

Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach chronicles the “chaotic joys of parenthood.” Fine her online at www.jeanlanahan.com or mailto: jmmlana@aol.com

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Pulished in The Bourne Enterprise, March 3, 2011

Momma's Journal: Writing Through the Ages

By Jean M. Lanahan

After reading an article written about a recently published novel, I went straight to my computer and logged onto Amazon and searched “Deleted”.

“A compelling drama of love, greed, and deception set in a South Shore community of Massachusetts…..What started out as a class project for a Creative Writing class ended up as a great mystery, and a great story….” was part of the product description for “Deleted”, published last November.

Add to cart. “Click”

Proceed to checkout. “Click”

I’m not an avid crime/thriller enthusiast, but this is a book that sparked my interest, especially after learning that the idea was conceived at a writing class lead held at 1000 Southern Artery, a senior housing living compound in Quincy. Having grown up in that neck of the woods, I wondered if I may know the participants – or perhaps their kin – or at least some of the local restaurants and places mentioned in their story.

With an enthusiastic group of 15 students to coach, Helen Monahan suggested that students join forces and write a book together. Four of the classmates took on the challenge. A team of writers was formed, consisting of Helen Monahan from Kingston, Gloria Goostray of Hudson, Virginia Anderson and Pat Spring, of Quincy.

Their writing journey began.

They developed an idea and followed their dream. They established their writers’ code - No swear words, no sex scenes. They outlined rules, two of them: “A writer could not change anything written in a previous chapter (until final editing), and each chapter had to end with a cliffhanger.”

Talk about shared responsibility. You write one chapter, she writes the next. We all help to edit and bring the reader to a higher level of entertainment - suspense, drama, even danger perhaps.

I love the concept and can’t wait to see how the chapters unfold; how each writer weaves her colleague’s thoughts into her own suspense and drama filled scenes.

At the beginning, the writers met weekly. During a newspaper interview, the writers described how life changes led to deferred meetings and thus, delays in the book’s progress. When it seemed as though the book would never be finished, Gloria took it upon herself and spent months typing and editing the manuscript to get it ready for print.

After some six years, “Deleted”, the fruit of their labors, was born in November 2010. Gloria published the book with Xlibris (an online self publishing company) just in time to present her colleagues with a Christmas gift like no other .... A copy of their completed work. Bound, with colorful cover bearing all of their names in bold print. (As a first time author, I know there’s no greater gift than holding a book filled with your words!)

I wonder if “Deleted” was finished on one the author’s birthday celebrations (they are between 70 and 83 years young, “or so”, they admitted.) In the article I read, Gloria said, “perhaps our venture could inspire other seniors to pursue

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, February 17, 2011

Momma’s Journal: Digital Grounding

Remember misbehaving as a kid and then being told by your parents, sternly, to go to your room? “And stay there and think about your terrible behavior! You’re grounded for 5 days!”

Oh the dread, the boredom, the torture! Our parents knew that sending us to our rooms was cruel, but not unusual, punishment.

I can say this now that my daughters are tweens, disciplining younger children was easy in comparison to handling today’s issues with our teens. Time-outs helped to handle issues when my girls were younger, but it’s impossible to look into your child’s eyes and insist that they stand in the corner and think about their misbehaving, especially if they’re taller than us! Taking car keys from middle school aged kids is a bit premature, and asking any teen to write “I will not disobey my smart, loving parents” a thousand times is punishment equivalent to shoveling the first inch of snow during a blizzard. A waste of both time and energy.

When I was a teenager, disappearing to my room to read a book or organize my closet was great me-time, but being sent there was another story. It meant doing mundane chores like matching socks that my sister potentially wore, or collecting dust bunnies from under our old bunk bed. Yuk! Either that or sit in complete quietness and reinvent the wheels of mischief while drowning in salty, guilty teardrops.

How quickly times change. With the advent of portable devices, ‘go to your room’ sounds like a really fun idea. Not only would my kids say “Fine!” if I sent them to their rooms, they’d opt to stay there for a few days. I’d hear an occasional request for fresh snacks and cold drinks, but not much squawking. Popcorn and a cellphone go great with a Disney movie on a chilly winter afternoon. Add a laptop, Kindle, Gameboy, Xbox or iPad to the equation, and it’s playtime gone virtual.

For entertainment purposes, I’m exaggerating a bit while stressing this simple truth: “Grounding kids – who remain connected – for ‘crimes’ that had to do with technology, is not helpful.”

“You’re grounded” typically means a child has to stay home and not see friends for days. But grounding a kid to a bedroom or house that allows them access to their favorite devices actually encourages screen obsession, and worse, it contributes to the growing social illiteracy rate of today’s young adults. Digital grounding, however, means that kids have to take a break from their technology and build offline relationships. Imagine!?

So what can help us to discipline our teenagers? Besides wishing for our disciplinary tool boxes to be filled with creative skills to discourage our kids from breaking rules and making bad decisions, parents need to appreciate what’s most important to our teens - and wahlah – we have leverage!

“Chillin, hangin, textin and chattin. That’s what kids do these days Mom.”

I’m trying very hard to appreciate all that “illin”, but it’s not easy; almost as difficult to as it is to embrace the power of internet socializing that our kids worship.

With vacation week upon us, odds are good that our kids will disobey at some point, but stand tall parents. Remember, we have the power! If kids need be reminded of this, repeat after me: “Hand over your phone and go to your room and think….. And if you ever want to see this phone again, do not touch one gadget while you’re ‘thinkin’.”

Good luck and happy school vacation to all. Stay warm and grounded.

Jean Lanahan of Bourne chronicles the ‘chaotic joys’ of life. Share your wonders and woes of parenting with her at jmmlana@aol.com

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, February 3. 2011

Momma’s Journal: Don't Look Now, but They’re Back

By Jean M. Lanahan

When I tell my middle school-aged girls that I once wore clothes similar to what’s in style today, danced to the beat of songs playing on the radio, and enjoyed doing – and saying - things they like to do, they don’t believe me. But it’s true. Fads come and go, and if you wait long enough, they’ll reemerge.

The 80’s was a decade of decadence, reminiscent of the Roaring 20’s, and much like current times when diverse clothes, music, and new technology arrive on the scene - one right after the other.

Remember when everyone ran around in acid-wash, distressed jeans? I do. It was the early 80’s. Our dungarees, as we called them then, looked much like the expensive ripped jeans our kids are wearing today, only ours weren’t name branded, But they were hand 'ripped', and washed, and bleached a trillion times to make them worth wearing.

Clichés and sayings don’t get forgotten, they just change with time. I remember saying, “A-Dah!” about a thousand times a day. Today’s kids have their own language. “That’s fresh!” has replaced “awesome”. “Dude” is yesterday’s “man” and “THAT’s GROSS” is the equivalent of my old time favorites, “gag me with a spoon”. Amazingly enough though, “cool” is still “cool”.

“Big hair” was the style in the 80’s. The longer and bigger the better, especially if the layers were sprayed with lots of Aqua Net. I’m told thick bangs and long layers are coming back. That’s good with me, but “mullets”? Tell me it isn’t true.

What about black eyeliner, high heels, and leggings? Look around. They’re back. All of them.

Dinner parties will never go out of style. Nor will nights out with the girls, fondue burners, or chocolate fountains. Gourmet cheese and crusty bread are “in”, and anything dipped in chocolate (dark of course) is fashionable to serve at cosmetic, jewelry, or - dare I say it - Tupperware parties.

A night out with the guys is still “a night out with the guys”, and according to my husband, that’s what they’ll always be. And “date night”, they’re here to stay too.

In the 80’s, kids spent time playing Atari games. Today’s favorite pastime includes getting lost in cyberspace via a sophisticated X-Box. Same toys, different times.

Clad in body suits, leg warmers, and head bands, many of us spent hours sweating with Jane Fonda, twisting and bopping to her video tape. Aerobics was popular in the 80’s, but today's classes are much the same but have fancier names like cardio workouts, interval training, kick boxing, or boot camp.

Out with disco, in with pop music in the 80’s. Michael Jackson and Madonna made MTV popular; Cyndi Lauper was a major player in this arena too - the three influenced the fashion industry as much as the music industry. MTV is still quite popular, so I hear. (The airing of “Skins” was the deciding factor for us to block MTV from viewing in our house.) Getting back to today’s music, is Country “in” and Rap “out”? And then there's the amazing New Kids On the Block who got started back in the 80’s. They’re back.

Madonna’s music topped the charts in the 80’s – with lyrics and antics that shocked/entertained her audiences. Wait a minute. Didn’t Cyndi Lauper do that too, and doesn’t Lady Gaga do all that and more? In her mid- twenties, the same age Madonna was in the 80’s, my guess is that Lady Gaga will continue to astonish/entertain her audiences for many years to come.

Remember the moon walk, break dancing, and the lambada, a Brazilian couples’ dance from Dirty Dancing? They’re back.

I remember watching MacGyver and Murder She Wrote on a 24-inch television screen. Reruns of those shows would most likely be watched today on 60-inch HD TV. Or perhaps we’d DVR our new favorite series like Extreme Makeover or Law and Order. Technology has and always will be fashionable.

I’m glad some things will never go out of style in my lifetime - because I could never live without them....blue jeans, friendship. family, silliness, fitness, originality, shopping, beauty parlors, innovation, music from the soul, dancing for the fun of it, and a crock pot filled with hand rolled meatballs.

Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach invites readers to share their parental wonders and woes with her at jmmlana@aol.com.

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, January 20, 2011

Surviving Cold Days of Winter - add later

Published in The Bourne Enterprise, December 24, 2010

Twas the Night Before......add later

Published in The Bourne Enterprise, December 9, 2010

The Bourne Enterprise, December 9, 2010

Notes from Momma’s Journal: The Lobsterman’s Quandary

By JEAN M. LANAHAN

If you’ve followed what’s been going on in lobster land, it’s not been pretty. Thanks to a lagging economy and foreign imports, lobsters have lost their value. Lobsters imported from Canada have flooded our markets, putting the price in the toilet (and that’s saying it politely) and, unfortunately, consumers seem to associate lobster with celebratory times.

To add fuel to the fire of a lobsterman’s financial situation, howling winds and high seas these past few months have kept many inshore fishing boats at the docks for days on end.

The fall is the peak season for lobster fishing in our waters when lobstermen harvest about 80 percent of their annual catch. And now, with the drop in water temperature, lobsters don’t feed. Lobster traps come up empty.

The Massachusetts Lobstermen’s Association (MLA) does a great job of keeping lobstermen connected, informed, and educated. There’s talk about MLA’s involvement in upcoming workshops and seminars to assist lobstermen in bettering their operation or in seeking employment in other industries. Yes, it’s that bad for many fishermen.

It’s amazing how some things change so quickly—and how some things just stay the same. Lobstermen, like so many other small business owners, are in a constant state of worry, wondering what their next business move should be.

Two years ago, I wrote a column highlighting the troubles lobstermen are facing.

In that article, I stated: “I’m not an economist, but having worked with Tom in the wholesale, retail and the restaurant industry for some 15 plus years, we know the scoop. I used to be the gal writing the checks to lobstermen from whom we bought—and sold—their lobsters. Today, Tom fishes commercially, and I am his bookkeeper. We know a bit about how the fishy business works.

“What’s a lobsterman to do? Keep on fishing and pray for the best.

“What’s the retailer to do? Sell quality products at fair prices.

“What are we, as consumers, to do? Heat your stockpot and melt the butter.

“Just remember to ask your fishmonger if his stock is caught by local fishermen. Last thing we need is to have more neighbors and friends out of a job.

“At the end of every lobster season a fisherman friend of ours used to say, ‘When you reach diminishing returns, it’s time to pull your gear and get ready for another season. A fisherman’s job is never done.’ ”

With the holiday season upon us, I’d like to remind readers of the importance of supporting local merchants and businesses.

Jean Lanahan of Sagamore Beach chronicles the “chaotic joys” of life. She invites readers to share their parental wonders and woes and comments with her at jmmlana@aol.com.

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Published in The Bourne Enterprise, November 12, 2010

Momma's Journal: Giving Thanks

add later..

Published in The Bourne Enterprise, October 29, 2010

Momma’s Journal: Halloween Memories

add later.....

Published in The Bourne Enterprise, October 15, 2010

Momma’s Journal: Pink is in the Air

Published in The Bourne Enterprise.... October 8, 2010 (check date)

Momma’s Journal: Be Safe my Sisters